I was all set to see the new colors of life awaiting me in the new city. I was stepping out of the house for such a long journey for the first time. The train, ticket checker, window seat, berths to sleep, everything was surprise.
Little did I know that I’d face the toughest facts of relationship. As we got into the train he asked ‘Are you comfortable?’ I nodded. Silence prevailed for next half an hour. He took out a book and started reading. ‘Let me know if you need something. We’ll buy food from the next station.’ He said. I had already packed his favorite curd rice. But I couldn’t tell him then. The silence prolonged for some more time and then he said ‘I know, no body would have asked your opinion before our marriage. The case is not different for me. I really don’t have anything in my mind other than cinema.’ I kept listening. He continued ‘I don’t believe in contractual love. True love is when two souls meet and when two bodies meet, it’s nothing but lust. On persuasion, as it happened with us, two physical objects met and it’s never two souls. We live in a convention driven society where there are no free thinkers. And if at all there any, they are stamped crazy or mad by the society.’ He threw the book down in frustration. People started noticing us. I was sweating by then. Train stopped at the next station and he got up to buy something for dinner. I told him about curd rice. ‘Oh!! That’s great and I like curd-rice.’ He melted. We had curd rice. Night fell. Both of us lied on our respective berths. I closed my eyes. Tears rolled down my cheeks. My love for him is ‘contractual’. I dint know when I fell asleep.
We were woken up by the tea vendors in Chennai central. He took me in an auto to a small rented house in Vadapalani. A bed room, a kitchen and a bathroom in 3 cents land. Basic amenities were present in the house. To my surprise I found the kitchen and bed room to be tidy. Reading my surprise he told me that he never stayed in the house. ‘There is a small house some 5 kms from here - Daffodils. The film crew stays there for all the discussions of the movie. And discussions go all through the nights. Today we have the pooja for the new movie. So I will go to the AVM studio and from there to Daffodils. There are lots of discussions to be made. So I may not turn up tonight.. Or I will try to come as you are alone here..’ ‘That’s fine. If you are busy with the work, carry on with that.’ I replied. With a half smile he said ‘You are bit different from the female characters in my scripts. Thank you for that’. I failed again to tell him that I love him as much as he loves cinema industry and is ready for anything to see him happy. I always enjoyed seeing him busy with his creative art.
In the initial days he used to come once in 2-3 days and with time it went as long as a fortnight. As I had nothing much to do at home, I started reading his books. Initially I had difficulty in understanding, but with time I too enjoyed the change in me. Even when he was at home, he rarely talked to me. And if at all he did, it was something on the related to the film industry. One day he told me that he was being awarded the best debut script writer. He had strange theories in such aspects too. He told me how much frustrated will he be on hearing the ceremonial addresses and the exaggerated appreciations during the award function. ‘I do the movies for my satisfaction.’ Cinema was not his profession but passion. ‘Today in the set, Rhagav sir scolded me for having said that I am not going to attend the award function. He said that I am too arrogant and that I had to respect the awards. I think I will have to go with him for the function tomorrow. Function is at 5 pm. We don’t have shooting scheduled tomorrow.’
The ‘D’ day arrived. I went to temple in the morning and he was sleeping even when I returned. I woke him up with the morning tea. We had breakfast and lunch together after a long time. Around 4 o’clock Rhagav sir came in his fiat car and picked him. He had told me that he would be back by 9.
I was becoming restless to see him come with the award. I had a nap in the -chair. ‘Tak-Tak.’ Some one was knocking at the door. It must be him. I sprang opened the door. As expected it was him and he was waving his hand to Rhagav sir. He turned towards me and smiled. I was surprised on his new gesture. He had a cover in his hand. He came inside and closed the door. I went two steps back. He then turned back and with a sigh said ‘Today I have won my first award. The industry that I loved more than anything in my life has honored me. But there is something that I overlooked. I know how much you love me and more than that I know how much hard it feels when some one ignores the love and worsens calling it contractual.’ My eyes wide opened on hearing that. He took out the memento from the plastic cover and put the cover down. He held my right hand. My body froze on that touch; he then placed the memento into my hand. The ‘golden lady’ idol which I had seen only in film magazines is now in my hands. I kissed the idol. I was in the seventh heaven. He came near, held my face in his arms and kissed me in the forehead. He raised my chin and kissed again. Moving a step back, he said pointing to the small show shelf ‘Lets keep it there’. I turned back, opened the glass cover of the shelf and kept it in the center. He walked towards me and hugged me from behind, moved my hair behind my left ear and kissed on the neck and whispered ‘You are my soul. I’m lucky to have you.’ And tenderly bit my ears. It was drizzling outside and the smell of wet soil added romance to ambiance. ’God is blessing us’ he said and lifted me in his arms and went to the bed. Placing me gently on the bed, he kissed me on forehead, then on nose and then l…
‘Shanti..Shanti’..Heard some one calling from outside and knocking heavily on the door. I woke up from my nap; I was on the easy-chair. The voice which woke me grew louder. I realized it was all a dream. I walked through the front room. Passed the empty shelf and opened the door to see half drunk Indrajith. Neither his eyes nor his feet were steady. He almost fell on me, and somehow managed to take him to the sofa. I was afraid to see him this way as I had never seen him drunk before. He fell asleep. My hands trembled and started sweating. Tears of helplessness rolled my cheeks. All through the night I sat beside him. Early morning he woke up and asked for water. After that he again slept. ‘Its there in daffodils. I kept it there.’ He told me next day morning when I asked about the memento. He had a treat from the producer of that movie. ‘That’s how I drank’ he reasoned.
As years passed, our standard of living improved. We bought a new house, a red fiat car. Award mementos heaped in a corner of Daffodils. He became a celebrated writer and director. And then he announced one of his dream projects to be produced by his guru, veteran director Rhagav sir. It was a year long project. He spent days and night on the project. He rarely came home during the project. Movie was in the lime light of media and film critics since its inception. The movie demanded more money than the budget planned. One day he came home for lunch and looked bit worried. When inquired, he told me that Rhagav sir is investing on the project out of the trust on him and the apprehension of the commercial failure always haunted him. Rhagav sir has already invested the total amount planned and the movie is only half away. He washed his hands after lunch and started from home. I wanted to lend moral support, but then again, I failed. Before my thoughts turned to words, the diesel car had started off.
By the time, the movie was complete; Rhagav sir had almost pledged all his hard earned personal assets for raising funds for the movie, hoping to make twice the investment. Through the course of the making, he earned more enemies than friends. And on a Friday the movie was released ….
To be continued….
